Cancer Official Status: Annoying
I decided over the course of today and yesterday that having cancer is actually really, really, really, really annoying. I have wanted to rip my skin off in one big piece, leaving behind a bald, leathery, wrinkly blanket. It is just that being in Reno, with the heat, with the inability to jump and move fully, with the constant whistles and girls screaming and then the losing, and with the stomach pains, I am running a little low on energy. I am just hitting a wall and I have to slow down and rest and I cannot coach or interact with the same kind of energy I am used to having. Last night I did not feel well, so I slept in and missed most of our first match this morning...I HATE missing matches. Insult to injury: we ended up losing that match and the second match of the day to teams we should not lose to, and now I want to rip my skin off AND poke my eyes out with a pen.
But truly, the frustration is a good thing, because it is cropping up as I see the light at the end of the tunnel, where I may be playing and coaching and moving again back to normal. I need to be patient and thankful.
Tomorrow I finish coaching the last day with my team that I have coached for 7 months. Then I drive back to Mountain View. This Friday I will get another CBC (complete blood count). They are going to check to see if my counts are good enough for me to fly to Texas on Monday. I will be back there for a week, because my buddy Chris is getting married. The concern is that if I was to get sick in Texas, I would have to go to the emergency room, and it would be worse for me to be away from my horde of amazing doctors.
posted by Jason Trip at 6:57 PM
5 Comments:
Beautiful Big Brother, Jason:
Here comes the well-meant advice from someone who hasn't walked in your shoes and therefore doesn't know what you are going through up close and personal. This is how one learns the meaning of getting through "one day at a time". This too shall pass, and tomorrow will be a brighter day. Thank God for the tough times, for they will provide contrast and deep appreciation for the good days to come. Find a corner to scream if you need it, but don't poke out those handsome pools of wisdom. You are in my prayers and I love you. Aunt Terrie
4:24 AM
Bling, Annaie and ashley were all at my house one night and i had another s'mores craving (i never actually got my smore after the first craving) sooooooo we dressed up like total weirdos and walked to safeway and bought smores!!! yay. i think they were the best smores ive ever had. anyways...ive been doing alot of swimming and its BOARINGGGGGGGGG. i miss volleyball. i tired of watching the bottom of the pool 1 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week.okie dokie well i guess ill see u at ur camp....and THEN AT SHP!!!!!wooooo hooooooo
-alexa-
4:13 PM
well, it really sucks to read that you are showing signs of annoyance like us measly humans! I refuse to believe....
9:43 AM
jason take it easy... you are like how my mom (the enigizer bunny)was; you will feel better now that you have some down time... i will be gone this week but call if you need anything
-jfo
10:02 PM
k having cancer doesn't mean you can be normal. i thought i could and i remember you saying how you were gonna try to do everything normal and like go to work allt he time and stuff but ... no. you can't. just don't expect much of urself so at least you wont get uspet. but i kno how much that sux. :( but it's awesome how the next paragraph you were really optomistic and stuff. that just goes to show how cancer just makes you practice how to be more optomistic and appreciative (regardless of how much you were before hand).
3:31 AM
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